2Wonder4Ever

Saturday, July 09, 2005:

I wonder why I feel bad when someone is rude to me?
It's not a "duh" question, either. Why should I feel bad? Why not just angry or why don't I yell or something?
I sit and take it, usually, because to respond heats up the event. And yet, when I don't respond, I feel stupid or codependent or numb; I always feel numb.
I mean, if I deserve to get a negative response, then I deserve it.
But to just take it? Where is the value in that? No one is impressed; nor do they keep score.
I try to evaluate: is it me? my behavior? bad hair day?
Is it them? bad day? road rage-pedestrian style?

I finally realized one thing: disrespect by someone my own age and old enough to know better, is crushing.
Lions--1; Christians--0. Why aren't they dancing with joy? Or is this a random act of badness?

Who lifts me up, bloodied and weary?
2wonder4ever // 10:27 PM

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