2Wonder4Ever Monday, February 14, 2005: When I'm gone, maybe someone will notice how accurate I was.Or, maybe, they will wonder who was so thorough and how complete my paperwork was?Maybe, when I'm gone, someone will realize that my job was much more taxing than I made it look.Maybe, they'll want me back?When I'm gone, maybe someone will notice I made a difference.Maybe someone will realize my ability to smooth tense nerves with customers and staff was not chance, but my gift?Would anyone realize what I did was valuable?This is the workplace, corporate America... No, no one will even notice I'm gone.My job is being phased out and I will be unemployed by the end of this month...montanasings ... montanasighs... 2wonder4ever // 8:35 PM ______________________ Thursday, February 10, 2005: Is it okay to admit that life sucks? Is it okay to admit no one will hire me for what I'm trained to do? Is it okay to admit that I feel like slowly rotting wood? Is it okay to admit I want to walk away and never come back? Is it okay to admit that there is One thing that prevents me from doing so? Is it okay to admit I miss teaching little kids? Is it okay to admit I wish I could have been a better mom? Is it okay to admit I wish I could perform again? Is it okay to admit I wish I had my old life back? Is it okay to admit I make grave mistakes in every relationship? Is it okay to admit I don't have it all together? Is it okay to admit that I'd rather look at a monitor than at the world? Is it okay to admit certain qualities in my life are for show? Is it okay to admit I'm afraid of you? Is it okay to admit I think I really am a good sci-fi writer? Is it okay to admit I need support but don't trust it would be there for me? Is it okay to admit I want to help more than I should? Is it okay to admit I'd never go to my reunion. Is it okay to admit if I went, I'd have to slip in past the metal detector? Is it okay to admit I'm angry? Is it okay... to admit I feel flawed? Is it okay that I'm not... normal? Is it okay to admit I might wake up and feel the same way tomorrow? Is it okay to admit I wish you could hold my hand through this? Is it okay to wish for miracles? 2-10-05 2wonder4ever // 11:53 AM ______________________
Is it okay to admit that life sucks? Is it okay to admit no one will hire me for what I'm trained to do? Is it okay to admit that I feel like slowly rotting wood? Is it okay to admit I want to walk away and never come back? Is it okay to admit that there is One thing that prevents me from doing so? Is it okay to admit I miss teaching little kids? Is it okay to admit I wish I could have been a better mom? Is it okay to admit I wish I could perform again? Is it okay to admit I wish I had my old life back? Is it okay to admit I make grave mistakes in every relationship? Is it okay to admit I don't have it all together? Is it okay to admit that I'd rather look at a monitor than at the world? Is it okay to admit certain qualities in my life are for show? Is it okay to admit I'm afraid of you? Is it okay to admit I think I really am a good sci-fi writer? Is it okay to admit I need support but don't trust it would be there for me? Is it okay to admit I want to help more than I should? Is it okay to admit I'd never go to my reunion. Is it okay to admit if I went, I'd have to slip in past the metal detector? Is it okay to admit I'm angry? Is it okay... to admit I feel flawed? Is it okay that I'm not... normal? Is it okay to admit I might wake up and feel the same way tomorrow? Is it okay to admit I wish you could hold my hand through this? Is it okay to wish for miracles? 2-10-05 2wonder4ever // 11:53 AM
