2Wonder4Ever

Thursday, June 03, 2004:

I need a small moment to re-explain, my friend.
When you ask about my week or whatever and I can't tell you, it's not that I don't want to. I do. But nothing comes out that even begins to describe what I really need to say. I need time to stutter and explore the problem/report/whatever and a safe place to find courage to utter it. I'm not entirely sure you want to know or if you're just making polite conversation.
Kinda like email... sometimes I have to read between your economic responses. I don't know what you're thinking and when I ask, you brush me off. Maybe I scare you? If the one-to-one bothers you, I wish you'd tell me now so I can knock it off. I flunked interpretation... or did I?

When I am sad and can't talk about it, or can't talk, I am more vulnerable than at other times, and I tend to be afraid of you when I least want to be. Silly me, I thought we were just friends.
But...
Fear and trust don't play well together. Since I don't want to bore you or interrupt like I seem to do, silence seems the safest. Maybe you're cool with that, silence and all... Just wish I knew.


2wonder4ever // 12:27 AM

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